Coming of Age

Everybody has that moment. The moment when you grow up. Or you break down. Maybe they happen simultaneously. You know, the milestone moments when the world seems to stop and look at you, and say "Hey kid, your'e not in Kansas anymore." Love the 70's reminiscent style of this video. Great job Foster the People. Props to my sister for always finding awesome music.

One or the Other

It was me dear sister
It was me oh brother
My feet were separated
from one another

One placed on the land
One placed within water
My thoughts were torn
between one and the other

With a foot on the shore
And a foot in the ocean
I stood there divided
My soul in commotion

The earth called too sweetly
The earth called familiar
But the sea rang out wildly
and my heart was bewildered

The shore was my safety
The shore seemed secure
But the ocean tumultuous
Cried out "I'm the cure!"

Ever same stood the earth
Yet the ever shifting sand
Gave me great excitement
But I stayed in command

With or without me
The ocean was all change
Haunted by its summons
My mind was enraged

A call to engage
And surrender my soul
To the real thing of glory
Without my control

Slowly I inched
Away from the sand
Surrendered both my feet
To the ocean's command

Tidal waves bore me up
And tore down my walls
I saw my many failures
I drowned in my flaws

As my body drifted
And sank in the waters
I closed my eyes
My heart on the alter

What game had I played?
What thing had I done?
For as pain gripped my heart
I let go of everyone

And at last as my heart
Came undone at the seams
I let the ocean cleanse away
My stubborn, stubborn streak

Death came about
Encasing my lungs
One breath, heavy sigh
And the thing was all done

The worst was over
The pain had passed through
But the light wasn't waning
Instead it came anew

It passed through my mind
Like some bittersweet song
And the peace beyond knowledge
Invested deep and long

It wasn't surreal
or full of suspense
but it was deep and real
and made the most sense

Now forever I'll surrender
To the call of the ocean
and let it wash away
All my deathly emotion

For I am the grave
and I am the death
So to turn from myself
I swallow the sea in every breath

The Caverns of My Chest

I can't breath
I can't speak
The caverns of my chest
Are caving in.

I can't grieve
I can't sleep
The caverns of my chest
Are breaking in.

I can't see
I can't scream
The caverns of my chest
Are raging in.

Under my skin
are restless waves
Inside my chest
are endless caves
Within the caves
are breathless storms
Which hold a sigh
I can't let go.
For to let it go
Causes silent screams
that rend my soul
at its desperate seams
And should the pain pass
and then subside
I'd soon roll over
and rest to die.
But they say to die
is to begin
But I can't let it out
So I can't let it in.
But the twist
that wrests and tears my soul
Is at my command to release its hold
For as soon as I let the pain
loose its sorrow
And turn over in my grave
Like a dead thing hollow
Allowing pain to sear my very heart
And the storm to shred my every part
And don't let the callous of bitterness grow
And then surrender my sorry and wounded soul
To the King who kindly extends His hand
and leads me through the shadow land
He will catch my tears alone
and take them to His very throne
He'll have me all
My every part
and not let me run wild and restless at heart
So as he breaks my very bones
I cannot fight or stay alone.
How I wish to slam the door in his face!
How I wish to find comfort in some other place!
Why must loneliness be my lot?
How I hate romance!
How I hate God!
And then I relent with wilted remorse
and raise my glass, present my toast
To pain, to pain, and drink it down
As acidic tears splash upon the ground
Don't let the sorrow leave a bitter taste
Let the pain rain down and leave its trace.
Let the knife carve hard and let it carve deep
Don't pass out, run away, or fall asleep.
Stay under the scalpel
Stay under the knife
It will make you a better servant, daughter, wife.