Afraid to Say It

Everybody feels it,
The tension that walks in the room
Like another person,
an Entity, a Thing.
We all sense it,
But we are too afraid to say it.

We can't speak
Or we won't speak,
Either way, its just as bad.
Generations go by,
and old ideas are passed off
and repackaged,
the ones that are designated
"Safe to open" by our predecessors.

But I want to live dangerously,
even Defiantly.
I will not speak merely about 
what others have deemed "safe."
For what is safe anyway?
At any moment, the molecules of my body
might give way to some galactic infrastructure
Collapsing under the very weight of my existence

Don't you see? No one is safe.
So why should I pretend?

I have seen the way our faces light up,
the way they fade,
what makes them darken, harden,
I've seen what makes us bleed.
I've seen the things that make us laugh,
Smile, blush, even love,
and yet no one talks about them.

Its as though all the great secrets of the universe
are the ones we long to Discover,
and finally find in some dusty corner of the attics of our minds,
But having been told that we alone have found them,
we all waltz by them,
Barely lingering over the things of true Importance,
and Immersing ourselves
in the pretense of the day.

I protest.
You might as well lock me up,
For I am not Afraid to Say It.

I Heart February

Via Pinterest

Hello World,

Happy February!

I love February, I really do. It may be the month of romance and rejection to some, but I really enjoy seeing all the cute stuff in the stores, the flowers, the hearts the chocolate, the whole shabang. While many believe that main point of Valentine's is to monopolize on people's romantic relationships, I truly enjoy the childhood classroom memories, the sweets, and the chance to give people a little something special just a little after Christmas and before their birthday.

I also "heart" February because its a gift of the second go around. If you feel like you've failed in January, you always have another go in February. How do you feel you did when it came to those new year's resolutions? I have been pretty proud of myself lately. Instead of shooting myself in the foot, sighing, and then saying "ah, heck with it!" and shooting the other one, I have actually slowly made progress.

Take today for instance. Things were not going particularly well at all this morning (couldn't find my keys, found them, lost them again, felt tired and groggy, frog in my throat, got called in to sub while the house was a mess, got locked out of the house on the way home, phone died on the way back from teaching classes tonight...) but despite all that, I was able to keep my chin up.

I SO BADLY wanted to go and self-sabotage by buying a pre-packaged food (chocolate or delicious protein bar... food fantasies, sorry!) BUT!! I TALKED MYSELF OFF THE CLIFF!! Instead, I behaved like an adult. I told myself not to spend the money, rack up the empty calories, took supplements, and actually cleaned the kitchen in 30 min flat while listening to Mr. Rogers (I gotta be a kid in some way ;)

While driving to my class, I was able to call ahead because I was running later than normal, have them set up the room, and calm myself down (I was a bit stressed after the fast clean and jetting to work) while running through class material in the car. It was AWESOME!!

No, I haven't met all my goals yet, but I'm working towards them, and I'm being less self-destructive.

Whatever your goals are this year, you CAN achieve them! Its just one good decision followed by another one. You'll be a pro at this in no time! Keep going, its going to be worth it!

Loves,
ashley anne  

Be The Hero. Be Brave.

Be brave. 

Give out the love when there is no return. 

Don't hold out for your fair share, 

because you don't want what you actually deserve.

Learn to be wise; learn when to walk away. 

Learn to be wise; learn to know when to stay. 

Instead of longing for hugs, give them. 

Instead of waiting for an encouraging word, 

brighten someone else's day from the bottom of your heart. 

Be genuine and caring in a cold and cruel world. 

Be the person you once looked up to. 

Love is a learned skill, pass it along. 

Be the hero. 

Be brave.