Its been a rough two weeks. Maybe someday I'll tell you about it. Let's just say there were some of the highest highs and the lowest lows I've had in awhile. Most of the time, I like life to stay as even keel as possible, but every once in awhile, God sends us on detours that are meant to teach us something.
There were words spoken, ideas communicated, hearts opened, and minds exploded. There were also bitter tones, crushed hearts, and sleepless nights.But you know what? I'm still alive...
And every time I emerge out of something painful, I feel somehow rejuvenated, like I have just been stretched further than I thought I could go, and my heart is now more flexible. Perhaps it is a bit macabre, but I love knowing that nothing can destroy me unless I give it that power. I love knowing how far I can climb, how deep into the unknown I can fall, and still trust that God will catch me.
That doesn't mean that trusting God is easy. But, with practice, it does become easier. And with each time, you learn that this physical world has a little less hold on you. That's what it means to be spiritual. I get now, after years of misinterpreting religion for spirituality. Religion actually ties you tighter to this world, with all its rules and rituals. Spirituality sets you absolutely free from this current reality, and you realize that nothing here can bind you unless you decide to be bound.
I've learned that love is a beautiful thing, and something worth fighting for. But I've also learned that it is found in the everyday odd places. So many people are busy searching for love in the face of one, not realizing that, while the love of one is incredibly beautiful, there is love in all things God has made. There is love in the face of a child looking wistfully at their father's face. There is love in the hand written note on the wall for all to see. There is love in the people you pass on the road. There is so much love everywhere, it fills the cosmos! Its beautiful, and its big, and it can't be contained. Its the story of humanity etched in each individuals eyes, no matter how small or insignificant they might seem.
I've realized that, yes, should I have the reason, should I have the task of giving my heart to another human being and to care for them, I have the courage to face this challenge willingly. I have the courage now to say "I forgive you" before I even say "I love you" because that is what humans need the most. But there is so much love out there, and people miss it everyday... It grieves me because while people are so busy trying to fulfill their lives with inter-personal romance, they often miss the cosmic love that is shivering, crying, aching to be discovered...
