It's been a while! So very many things have happened this year, so I will try my best to get you up to speed before I jump into reflections for the new year.
Good news... I haven't died yet! Seriously though, that was a big concern of mine when I was younger. I had so much fear and anxiety, I thought for sure I would be dead by 22. Well here I am, almost 26, and still kicking.
I wasn't sure what I was going to do with my life. I knew I was artistic, and that I would always be writing. Well, this is still true. I have self-published a short, illustrated children's book, and I am currently working on a children's chapter book. As to everything else, I am sort of a health and dance coach. I make very little money though, so money is going to be the main object this next year.
Speaking of money... for a short time (last summer until now) I was able to run a dance studio from my home. That was an absolutely WONDERFUL experience, but sadly, due to the rules of our Home Owners Association (HOA) I can no longer operate my studio...
Physically, I have more challenges than I thought I would. I battle auto-immune disease, get sick and have pain more frequently than most people my age, and suffer from disk degeneration which can be very painful. Wanted to have a surgery, but to no avail. BUT! I have more ways to deal with this than most since I am knowledgeable about supplementation and strength training.
Emotionally, this year has been challenging. For almost two years, I was friends and then more than friends and then in a relationship with someone who I truly loved. But love is not the same as trust and respect I've learned. The love of my life is not a Christian, and it has been a challenge recognizing that, at least for the foreseeable future, he cannot be mine and I cannot be his. I want him in heaven with me if I don't get to have him for the time on earth, so please pray for him.
Dating him was an interesting experience, long-distance (met him via youtube), but it gave me a chance to really see how much was going on upstairs. I actually recommend long-distance dating if you REALLY want to know how you're conversations will be like down the road. Knowing someones everyday routine is really important too, so don't skimp out on hanging out when you can.
Most of all, I learned if you on not on the same spiritual plane (forget about religious stuff, I don't even go to church anymore for various reasons) and you're not BOTH connected to God, it will not work out. One will feel like their partner is void and unavailable with little life energy, and the other will feel that their partner is in "another world," and inaccessible.
My mother and father are now separated (if you've read this blog, you might think it was high time...) My dad is staying at a small home he has rented from some cult members (its a long story) and sadly, we do not miss each others company.
Locationally... we have been situated in a beautiful five bedroom home that we rent. After my dad left, two girls that Lexie knew from school (Julia and Chloe) moved in. Chloe has become like another sister to us, Julia has a lot of religious baggage, but she has a good heart. She reminds me of myself when I was in my religious phase. Its so sad how Jesus, the very person who came to set us free from all the religious rituals and ideas, gets repackaged and sold as a new form of religion. Spiritual beings set free need only God's love and truth to guide them. People still bound to the world need religion and rules to keep them from going off the rail.
Things have been pretty expensive, so I don't think we will stay here long. In fact...
About a month ago... Rachel, who has always wanted to marry someone who looks like Jon Foreman, owns a ranch, and likes to wear flannel, met a guy through Chloe. Rachel has only dated one person, and NEVER thought her day would come. Well, I think its come. This guy, Nate, lives in Montana (which was a big deal to Rachel who loves the movie Man from Snowy River), wants to build a ranch (he has money from working in oil fields) and looks like Jon Foreman. They talked on the phone for the first time on Monday. I've never seen her so elated. And she has a lot of peace. I am so happy for her. And I'm happy that I have moved past any feelings of jealousy or nasty energy like that because things didn't work out for me. I was a little sad, but I was still able to rejoice with Rachel which means my soul is in a good place.
Because Rachel will most likely be moving to Montana, Mamma and I are prepared to leave Washington, even if just for awhile and go to Montana with her. So, that will be a new adventure.
As always my loves, everything is up in the air right now, as life for us always is. Nothing but God is certain, and I am certain he will see us through. I love you all, take care, keep trusting God, work hard, and be brave!
Love,
Ashley
