I Am Wrong

Small worlds inclined
Growing upwards in my ears
Calming all my quarrels,
Subsiding all my tears.
For I was torn in soul,
At the threads of who I am.
Once a tall machine,
Now growing to a man.

Once an iron-will so strong
Replaced with flesh and bone.
A thing so fearsome, deadly wrong
With want to stay alone.
Blood now flows through rusted veins
And spirals aching down.
To think that I believed... At last!
My silence breaking down.

Withered heart and weary soul
Disenchanted by the gown
Worn by the wayside pirates
Turning souls, taking flesh by pound.
I ached to say that I was wrong
To speak as mortals should.
Yet I couldn't trust the words to speak
For I trusted I was good.

Dingy walls and paling lights
All hung with my dismay/
A world so dark and dismal cold
Ruled by thoughts of my parade.
I boasted of my failing wires
I tripped and sighed and stood.
A day old machine, an infant to speak
Screaming silence so deep in the wood.

Oh the beasts of deep desires
A want to be understood.
A feeling of entitlement
Of disregard for all that is good.
The power of maliciousness
The call to leave myself.
The choice so cold in front of me
Knowing poverty is wealth.

All the days so dark and deep
Of dogmatism and styles
My tongue was false, my talk was cheap
And cheated with many wiles.
Even I deceived myself
Parading my own display
Oh what a beautiful thing
To unmask the mess I have made.

Do Not Follow

Do not follow your emotions,
Treacherous things they be,
Ready to sell you to despair and hate.

Do not follow your heart,
So full of evil and wickedness,
Do not wait for it to desire good.

Follow only Me,
For I AM the only way.
Follow my voice alone,
And you will find that it
Brings you Home.

Where To Begin?

I only have a few minutes gals and guys, but I thought I'd tell you a few things.

- Moving out has been AMAZING, and far less scary than I ever thought. I mean, I knew I was ready, but my heart had been so prepared; I knew where I would be moving for almost a year, and so I felt quite at home when I finally got all my stuff in. I am moved out... Wow... More on that later.

- My mom and siblings (and dad) moved into a smaller place only seven minutes from me, and they live RIGHT off main street in our little town. LOVE!

- I have anxiety. I get scared over stupid things, and I think far too much about what people think of me. I have learned that I am delicate, I am sensitive, and denying that only makes it worse. I am not ok. But that's ok. I will get better. I will be healed. The biggest thing I have to do is to let go of everything. I feel like I'm learning to let go. I'm not going to ever have any more joy than what I have at the moment. I have to grow joy, I have to cultivate it by basking in God's love. It sounds so cliche, but how many times do I struggle because I don't simply do what He says to do, or because I fight Him over the little things?

- Its quiet. Quiet is good. Its good for the soul. LORD, quiet my heart and my mind. Let me be focused on you because you are all that I see.

- Let the waves wash over you, If you are busy trying to catch waves and put them in a place where they will never die, you will end up frustrated. Waves are passing things, not meant to be stored or kept. When Jesus comes, He will make all things solid, all things real, so just let life flow through your fingers, enjoy the good, know that the bad doesn't last forever, and keep in mind that there will come a time when all things are settled forever.

- Time stops for no man. Do whatever is important NOW. Time will never slow down for you, you must slow him down.