Some days, I wonder what it would be like to come to school with my hair dyed red and cut in a super short, artistic style. What would people think of me? Would they treat me different? I would throw back my head with its shiny, short crop of hair and laugh!
Sometimes, I think it might be nice to run away to a convent and become a nun. But perhaps I would be too happy, too shut away, and too free from problems. I can deal with problems inside of walls, but "we can't run from our problems, we have to face them..."
Other times I see myself with a little gauzy bonnet on my head, smiling and cruising down the lane in an ever-so-fashionable Amish carriage pulled by a trusty black horse. No traffic, or road signs, or cars. Only another buggy here and there. I might wave and smile too jubilantly though. I might get stern and silent faces in return. Oh dear me, am I allowed to be joyful? Even the Man of Sorrows went to a wedding feast! And then they would gently but firmly pull me from my lovely carriage... back to dishes?
Or maybe I could be a secret agent?
How much does it cost to live up in the woods by yourself?
If I had enough balloons, I might do exactly what that guy in "UP" did...
And while I rattle off these ridiculous ideas, my siblings all look at me as if I've gone off my rocker and landed on the moon!
But these are just the crazy things. Wait until tomorrow when I get my head on straight. For now it is backwards, like the owls, and I am sitting in a hollow tree, dreaming...
Oh, dear Lord, I just want to do what you want me to. Help me to be brave!
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